May 3, 2007

  • Move along...

    Just another random thought I had which I felt like typing out, would make me feel better like all other rants I've had.

    From
    most people's perspective who interact with me on a daily basis, I seem
    like an individual who is happy. And they would be correct, I AM happy,
    life is great, awesome, and could not be much better. However, there is
    just one thing that bothers me...

    I heard a couple years back
    about the average age for a male in America to get married is 25-26.
    The number one reason? Stability and a place in society as well as
    their lives. A solid job and career is polled to be more important than
    marriage in a life of an average young man. I wondered how much this
    poll rang true for the many guys out there.

    Success. Simple
    word, two syllables, seven letters, easy to define, or is it? How
    exactly does one measure it relative to Life? Is there even a standard
    for such a vague and complicated topic with an almost infinite motley
    of answers?

    I am 23. I am also a home owner, car owner, have by
    my side an Amazing girl who I plan to marry as soon as I start my
    medical career, timeshare holder w/ international options, with a 401k
    that is about to bloom. I have my health, my mind, my family, both of
    my parents, most of my friends, and have done well in balancing
    full-time work and full-time school for years. I travel somewhere far
    twice a year, and have in my possession pretty much all the toys I can
    ask for by working a job that pays about 36k a year, as well as a
    hospital who pays for my tuition. I have made mostly A's and some B's
    for previous years, and have connections who are ready to assist me
    when I apply for anesthesia school.

    Despite of the list above, in
    my shoes, in terms of my
    parents, To finish school, get a high paying job, and
    establish "respect" is what my folks have set forth as the basis of
    Success. Due to this, I feel like I am somewhat failing in their eyes.
    For a
    flawless high school graduate -> college graduate, I should be able
    to attain a Masters by the age of 24. However, I am a tad shy of my BA,
    and a couple more years away from MA due to complications of the past.
    Keep in mind they aren't the ones who are upset, but rather it is
    myself who feels I have not done everything I could have.

    Supposing
    many reactions are get over it, success is determined by what you make
    of it, you are doing great, or the I am in a worse position than thou.
    I've tried forcing to convince myself of all these reasonings, but in
    the end it still feels like I disappoint my parents. The same two who
    slaved working for donations by cleaning churches, to working 15-hrs
    day in restaurants, to get my brother and sisters to where we are
    today. It sounds sappy, but for months now I wanted to call each of
    them to tell thank them for everything they have done for me, that they
    could not have been better parents and I love both of them more than I
    have shown all these years. It's difficult, due to the reason I feel
    unfit, and unworthy as an incomplete son who wasted years in college. I
    call both of them on a weekly basis, and am still struggling to tell
    them what I want them to know. I'm pushing myself harder to do even
    more in life and just cross my fingers I can get over this one last
    pound that is keeping me down, thus feeling 100% satisfied with the
    work I've invested so far and its results.

    I hope for the few that read my blurts, that if you do have great parents, don't be a wuss like me and tell them.

    Curious also, how does everyone else determine/measure success in their lives?

    Pushing to hurry, graduate, and have even more fun,

    - Tri